a little bit of honesty.

Eight and a half years ago, my family unit was broken apart and the only emotions bestowed were hate, upset and anger. There are tough times that people go through in life and I always see mine as minor, I never want too admit that I am really struggling until the past couple of years. I remember going to the doctors once about feeling depressed and they offered some therapy sessions. At the time, the thought of therapy made me nervous and I really didn’t think that would help, I wasn’t ever suicidal, I never attempted it either. 

It’s hard to explain to people but I fully believe in talking helps release some of the tension and emotions that are built up inside. I started staying awake until 6am and then sleeping through the day, weight gain, I felt constantly moody and blamed everyone and couldn’t bring myself to admit what was wrong and change my attitude. The past three years have been totally different, I became much more confident and really try everyday to just let the anxiety stay inside and rise above it. I get anxiety over the silliest of things but to me they seem like huge milestones and I constantly imagine everyone staring and watching me, judging me. It’s one of the toughest thoughts to fathom and deal with. I read all the time so many articles about how to breakthrough depression and at the minute Heads Together campaign is trying to break the stigma of mental health awareness. I fully agree that we have he stiff upper lip when it comes to mental health and talking through out issues. It really took me a long time to admit and change the way I thought and outlook on life. I do think talking and having new people to help your confidence. 

For me; I love having a close group of friends around. Family too. I’m blessed to have a sister a similar age to me, she’s with me every step of the way. Sometimes, you need someone super close and special to you. I would honestly be lost without the people that care about me. I have so much care and love for people who have the same for me and that’s what matters, it definitely got me through! 

Panic attacks at one stage was horrible, I felt my skin was so bad, constantly breaking out in spots, bad insomnia. At my lowest points, I didn’t leave the house, my bedroom even, I didn’t want to face anyone and didn’t have the words to express how I felt. I genuinely didn’t think anyone would understand or would think I was being dramatic. 

I always feel lost. 

Even now I have days where I get anxious over so many daily tasks and find myself overwhelmed with everything. Even life, I question what skills do I actually have? Where am I going in life? Do I even have a career path ahead of me? What am I good at? I sometimes hope that I will find my way and my life will fall into place. Does anyone else have these questions? Am I the only one that thinks negatively? I always imagine I’m not but I wish other people could tell me how they feel. I wish their was a way to quickly pick you up and guide you but there isn’t until you make peace with yourself and try so much. 

Ultimately, no matter who you are, no matter how bad your situation, you will get through it. Every single person on this earth is born to make their mark. So be strong, know you are beautiful/handsome, ooze the confidence you deserve. I feel that times do get tough and this world we live in isn’t always the best place but you have to overlook the bad, see past the sadness and strive to be the best person you can be. Surround yourself with positivity. 

I’d love to set up time to talk to anyone that was feeling lonely, insecure, unhappy and help in any way possible. 
Buy a few little things that cheer you up, spend a bit of time with the people who make you laugh, do what you’re best at. Don’t let things get you down, force them to make you stronger. 

Matte Lips 💄💋

So I’ve compiled my favourite matte lipsticks, liquid and sticks alike. I LOVE matte lips and it is my go to look, it will honestly never be out of trend for me. Obviously the Kylie lip kits are proving to be highly popular but I cannot fathom spending over £40 for one lip kit. I am quite stealthy when it comes to finding dupes of make up trends so now I know which work best for me and colour wise- the ranges are endless. Bold, bright, nude and vampy colours are available everywhere! Every cosmetic stall has a stock of matte lipsticks which I will forever be grateful. 

NYX matte liquid lip cream- 



I am very pale skinned and these are my favourite NYX lip creams and look great with my complexion. I always recommend this range as I find the pigment great and they do last for hours! Even after drinking, it provides a good coverage! The nudes are especially long wearing from what I have found. The red and berry colour tend to turn into a kind of stained look after a couple of hours! For £6 and Boots and Selfridges they are an absolute save. Such good bargains and for the price they are definitely worth it to stock up on! 


The picture does not do the colour ‘Copenhagen’ any justice. It’s a perfect vampy wine-berry colour, I love this with my hair straight and a dark smokey eye. 


‘Istanbul’ was my first NYX lip cream and the start of an obsession! I like to wear this candy pastel colour with light makeup. 


My favourite nude! ‘Stockholm’ is my ultimate natural make up day staple lip, perfect for a sunny day when I just use a tinted moisturiser and is undoubtedly amazingly suited to my skin/lip tone. 


Ah, ‘Monte Carlo’, you were my first matte red lipstick and honestly gave me true love for how much a red lip can plump up my day. After a couple of coats this is great and does last out quite well. 

MAC matte lipsticks – 



I honestly see MAC cosmetics as one of the main leading make up brands and love so many of there products. Lipsticks are amazing, I currently swear by their foundation. (More on that in an upcoming post….) I love their range in nudes and these two really suit my pale skin shade. I always stock up at Selfridges or at the airport when going on holiday, these lipsticks range from around £15.50. The coverage is good but I wouldn’t say they are that intensively matte. 

‘Honey Love’ is such a great nude, the colour is rich and you can build on it to get a really thick nude lip. I went through a phase of being consistent in always carrying this shade with me and wearing it non stop and kept losing it that I actually have three of them. One is in my glove box in my car, you know, just in case! 


I bought ‘Please Me’ whilst travelling to Canary Islands from Manchester Airport, I think it worked out at £11? Totally worth it and let’s just say looking back at the pictures from said holiday- did I own any other lip shades? Apparently not. 

GIORGIO ARMANI lip maestro – 



I borrowed a lip maestro from one of my best friends on a night out in Manchester and wow, this boosted my confidence for the night seriously. I love the intensity in colour and matteness. It’s amazing and later the WHOLE NIGHT. Yes, the whole night out of drinking, dancing and fun. I was given a gift card the week after and head straight to Selfridges in Exchange Square to pick up this amazing piece of make up. This obsessive move was exactly the same as when I was 16 and became dependant on NARS lip gloss in ‘Turkish Delight’. I wore it to get ready for bed as well as everyday. My mum never understood why I had spent £18 on a lip gloss but……she didn’t need to get it. 


I have this in lip maestro shade 400. It is life changing. The boldness of the red, the orangey undertones, the wand perfectly glides the colour onto your lips. It’s absolutely amazing and no other matte lipsticks come close anymore! Giorgio Armani lip maestro, you are worth every penny of the £28 you cost. 

LVL LASHES. 

I know I can’t be the only one who scrolls through Instagram and gets super envious of so many celebrity lashes! Mine are non existent as you can see from the pictures before and after the amazing LVL lashed treatment from Nouveau Lashes. I cannot express how much this has changed my life. It’s coming up to a year of me regularly getting the treatment and I’ve had it done a total of four times and am finally getting an over due top up in a few days! I go to an amazing little salon local to where I live and find the price absolutely worth it for the effect it has! I hate when the treatment is dying down which for my lashes is usually the seventh week after having them done. I have super straight lashes so having my natural lashes is actually saddening now! I used to always swear by lash extensions but after trying a new salon and having the clusters just fall out and leave my lashes patchy whilst I was on holiday I realised that I needed a break! I haven’t used extensions since October 2014 and started LVL in June 2016. Mascara is great and all but I just find that my lashes stay so straight and not really that lifted! If you are like me then I highly recommend this amazing treatment. LVL is available nationally and I am aware of so many salons and beauticians practising this treatment! Here are the pictures of my eyelashes! 

First seven pics of after LVL since June 2016- 

The next two pictures are with mascara-


These last pictures are my natural (straight😢) lashes-