Eight and a half years ago, my family unit was broken apart and the only emotions bestowed were hate, upset and anger. There are tough times that people go through in life and I always see mine as minor, I never want too admit that I am really struggling until the past couple of years. I remember going to the doctors once about feeling depressed and they offered some therapy sessions. At the time, the thought of therapy made me nervous and I really didn’t think that would help, I wasn’t ever suicidal, I never attempted it either.
It’s hard to explain to people but I fully believe in talking helps release some of the tension and emotions that are built up inside. I started staying awake until 6am and then sleeping through the day, weight gain, I felt constantly moody and blamed everyone and couldn’t bring myself to admit what was wrong and change my attitude. The past three years have been totally different, I became much more confident and really try everyday to just let the anxiety stay inside and rise above it. I get anxiety over the silliest of things but to me they seem like huge milestones and I constantly imagine everyone staring and watching me, judging me. It’s one of the toughest thoughts to fathom and deal with. I read all the time so many articles about how to breakthrough depression and at the minute Heads Together campaign is trying to break the stigma of mental health awareness. I fully agree that we have he stiff upper lip when it comes to mental health and talking through out issues. It really took me a long time to admit and change the way I thought and outlook on life. I do think talking and having new people to help your confidence.
For me; I love having a close group of friends around. Family too. I’m blessed to have a sister a similar age to me, she’s with me every step of the way. Sometimes, you need someone super close and special to you. I would honestly be lost without the people that care about me. I have so much care and love for people who have the same for me and that’s what matters, it definitely got me through!
Panic attacks at one stage was horrible, I felt my skin was so bad, constantly breaking out in spots, bad insomnia. At my lowest points, I didn’t leave the house, my bedroom even, I didn’t want to face anyone and didn’t have the words to express how I felt. I genuinely didn’t think anyone would understand or would think I was being dramatic.
I always feel lost.
Even now I have days where I get anxious over so many daily tasks and find myself overwhelmed with everything. Even life, I question what skills do I actually have? Where am I going in life? Do I even have a career path ahead of me? What am I good at? I sometimes hope that I will find my way and my life will fall into place. Does anyone else have these questions? Am I the only one that thinks negatively? I always imagine I’m not but I wish other people could tell me how they feel. I wish their was a way to quickly pick you up and guide you but there isn’t until you make peace with yourself and try so much.
Ultimately, no matter who you are, no matter how bad your situation, you will get through it. Every single person on this earth is born to make their mark. So be strong, know you are beautiful/handsome, ooze the confidence you deserve. I feel that times do get tough and this world we live in isn’t always the best place but you have to overlook the bad, see past the sadness and strive to be the best person you can be. Surround yourself with positivity.
I’d love to set up time to talk to anyone that was feeling lonely, insecure, unhappy and help in any way possible.
Buy a few little things that cheer you up, spend a bit of time with the people who make you laugh, do what you’re best at. Don’t let things get you down, force them to make you stronger.